


No Realer than a Dream

by Grizmelder



Series: Deep in Autumn [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Background Relationships, Byakuya POV, Byakuya decides if you want something done do it yourself, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Long Engagements, Look Byakuya doesn't pine ok, M/M, Minor Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo, Minor wistfulness, The relationship politics of getting married, They are uncles so sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grizmelder/pseuds/Grizmelder
Summary: "Tsch, it's not like we'renevergoing to get married," Renji says.This sounds, to Byakuya, strangely ambiguous. Last time he checked, they were meant to be marriedalready.Rukia raises her eyebrows at him in question. He thinks she's asking what the hell is going on with their lack of a wedding.He shrugs a little. They are, after all, exquisitely happy as they are.--It's been going on for a long time now, their engagement. Byakuya wonders when they will be husbands, what it means to be married, and whether it really is what they both need.AKA five times Byakuya thought they were finally going to get married but didn't, and the time they actually did.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya
Series: Deep in Autumn [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013601
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	No Realer than a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Well. My whole 'I don't think I have more to write about these two boys' statement lasted all of two minutes, huh?
> 
> The original idea for the first fic in this series, 'Time for Turning', was to write something set way in the future, when they were much older. Which kinda didn't happen quite the way I wanted it to? So I wrote something extra to try and scratch that itch. 
> 
> Welcome to the shortest thing I've ever written...if you take it on its own, anyway. I wrote this in < two days whilst also doing NaNoWriMo so if there are any mistakes you know why!

They have been engaged for six months. There are gifts, and they really are for him this time. 

Byakuya notices that Renji is distinctly squirrelly about the gifts. When he sees them he suddenly understands why. It's clear that Rukia picked them out on Renji's behalf; just a few traditional things that would look proper in front of his future in-laws. They are within Renji's means, but still generally suit Byakuya's tastes. 

It's at this point that Byakuya starts to sense a problem: his family have definitely gone overboard in return. He has missed the cue, somehow, that this formal celebration of their engagement isn't something important for Renji. He is angry at himself for failing in this, given that the heart of their courtship was in doing things their own way, just for them. 

Jumping through these hoops for his family does not cement their togetherness in the same _way_ as many other, less showy things: the terms of endearment they use for each other, or breakfast in bed on their days off. A yuino is not as earth-shattering, somehow, as picking a stray hair from Renji's gi, brushing a hand down his bicep in full view of the whole division and suddenly feeling all eyes on them, so silent you could hear a pin drop in the training grounds.

Byakuya gradually starts to panic, right there in amongst their families crowded around the gift table. The designer sunglasses are fine because he suggested them. He can take the disapproving frowns from his elders when gifted with the grin on Renji's face. By the time they get to the gilt sake cups, Renji's face is a mask of politeness. The smile is no longer genuine. 

He watches his fiancé carefully throughout dinner. Food truly is the way to Renji's heart, and it does its job. He is truly smiling again, sprawling, by the end of the second course.

There are less courses today than for Rukia's yuino and the portions are larger. Byakuya's strict instructions were not to scrimp on quality or flavour, but to avoid being sat at the table for four hours with his awful family. This is a good compromise. 

Tonight they will not get away with Renji staying at the estate. All the same, Renji catches his sleeve when he deems nobody is looking, and guides him away from the few relatives lingering past the point of politeness. 

He is pressed gently against the railings of the bridge they first kissed on. The way they kiss now is slow, decadent and sure. Byakuya breathes deeply, wraps a hand around Renji's neck and hums his approval. Nobody will scold them today. 

Renji has a package hidden in one of the receiving rooms. He looks more fidgety than ever when he hands it over. "I got you something else, but I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone," his fiancé says.  
"You did not need to get me anything, Renji," he replies.  
"I wanted to...and, well, it's sort of selfish too. You'll see," Renji says with an awkward chuckle and a lopsided smile that definitely means he's pleased with himself. 

Inside the box there is folded silk wrapped in tissue paper so thin it almost tears as he draws it back. It is a haori, in navy blue with a kamon he does not recognise. Renji takes the empty box from him so that he can shake it out. 

The lining is exquisitely painted silk, depicting a nue in a storm of cherry blossoms. He realises then, that Renji must have put his own Abarai kamon on the sleeves. Byakuya can't hide the way his breathe stutters when he looks up at Renji, silently asking for confirmation, explanation. Something. 

"Yeah, yeah It's a bit possessive. I know we're not changing names or anything, but I wanted you to have something to show who you're with, I guess," Renji blushes. Byakuya presses the silk to his chest, feeling the fabric - it is good quality. Practically a piece of art. 

"I shall have to be possessive in turn. You must wear it first, so that it smells of you when I put it on," he says and watches Renji's eyes flash.  
"You like it then?"  
"Very much. I am lucky, that my future husband is so thoughtful," Byakuya smiles. 

*

It is getting ridiculous, really, how often Renji stays with him at the estate these days. It makes Yayoi-sama incandescent with rage. 

This is probably why she doesn't progress their wedding plans unless prompted by Byakuya or Renji. Mostly Byakuya.

Which is probably why it's been two years, and they are no closer to being married. Blissful. Hearth-fire warm. There is no sign of an end to this contented engagement - not quite as crisp and new as it was before. Still, it is blissful, Byakuya thinks, to be engaged. 

It is late by the time Renji slips into Byakuya's suite. It is the middle of winter and Renji has been working the worst nighttime shifts. For weeks they have been out of alignment. They cross paths briefly - the only kindness they can offer each other is a freshly boiled kettle waiting ready, or little parcels of food wrapped in cloth. Or exquisite bento sets, if you're Byakuya. 

He is already in bed, but his ears prick up when he hears the shuffle of his vice-captain toeing off his shoes at the door, shedding his rank and hanging up some of his belongings in the store room. Barefoot, as always, he pads across the tatami. 

There's more rustling, before Renji tucks himself into the futon behind Byakuya. He is completely naked. His feet are cold. 

"Renji." he says, sleepy but firm.  
"I've not got any other clothes with me, ok? Deal with it," Renji yawns and drops his head dramatically to the pillow. He wraps his arms around Byakuya's waist and settles in. Byakuya lies there wide awake, trying not to wince when Renji insinuates his cold hands into the collar of his sleeping robe. 

This is also a common occurrence: Renji forgetting his hair tie, his tabi socks, his hairbrush. Clean underwear. That incident made for an interesting training session the next day. And when they outstay their welcome at the estate and beat a retreat to the division, Byakuya is left without good tea and his favourite food and hot baths on demand. The division is draughty. He feels like a spoiled child, but he hates it.

He is getting irritated, quite frankly, at the bed hopping. 

"Move into the estate," he breathes into the darkness, feels Renji stir. There is a soft, lingering press of lips against the back of his neck. Byakuya has the suspicion that Renji is smelling his hair for a moment, before he speaks. "Deal. As long as you tell Yayoi-sama," he mumbles. 

They move him in gradually over the course of a few weeks. He has no furniture of his own, but there are plenty of other little snatches of Renji now, as Byakuya looks around his rooms. His mother's poetry collection is now joined by many volumes of manga that mainly consist of muscled men with their shirts off, as far as Byakuya can tell. Renji has filled the storage cupboard with a dazzling array of weapons and training accoutrements, including a bullwhip he claims to have used for training his bankai. Byakuya finds this dubious. 

Yayoi-sama finally notices when Renji goes to pick up Rukia from the front gate one day and escorts her to dinner. At least, that's when Byakuya assumes she noticed. 

They are pleasantly ensconced around the brazier with warm sake when she rolls back the screen door and intrudes on their evening. 

"Good evening, Yayoi-sama," he says, not quite lifting his weight from where it's resting against Renji's shoulder. Rukia stops reading aloud, looks at her expectantly.  
"I know what you've done and I will not keep this scandalous behaviour from the elders, Byakuya-sama," she declares. She is labouring under the impression that they will gladly suffer to appease her old-fashioned sensibilities.  
"What have we done?" he asks.  
"He is living here, under this roof and you are not even married," she hisses. 

Renji scoffs. "Seems like it's your responsibility to do the wedding bit. What a shame you haven't done your job properly," he says.

She gapes like a fish for a moment, then turns on her heel and leaves. Byakuya suspects that they will have to arrange their own wedding, now. 

"Tch, it's not like we're _never_ going to get married," Renji says, pours another bowl of sake. 

This sounds, to Byakuya, strangely ambiguous. Last time he checked, they were definitely getting married soon. Last time he checked, they were meant to be married _already_. 

Renji is still mumbling to himself - something about Byakuya being too coward to tell Yayoi directly to her face.

Rukia raises her eyebrows at Byakuya in question. He thinks she's asking what the hell is going on with their lack of a wedding. 

He shrugs a little. They are exquisitely happy as they are. 

*

Renji says the words one day. 

Renji is naked, pushing up into him. Byakuya lifts and drops himself hard into Renji's lap, watches his lovers face go slack, his eyes close. Renji's thighs, cradling him, bump against his hips as he grinds down.

"Marry me," Renji gasps. Then "Fuck" as he comes, searing hot, deep inside Byakuya. 

Byakuya looks down in shock, hips stilling in their rocking motion. A thrilling, rolling pull of _want_ goes through him at what was just said.

And then Renji's hand is on him, tugging him rough and fast until he's keening, squirming and then he's gone gone _gone_. 

He comes back to himself slumped over Renji, forehead sticky against a tattooed chest. 

It is foolish to believe words spoken in the midst of passion. But it was quite something, hearing Renji say it. He practically demanded it. Byakuya finds that he both desperately needs to talk about it, and never wants to acknowledge what just happened ever again. 

He raises his head and does the grown up thing. "Why did you say that, Renji," he asks, softly. 

It takes a moment for Renji to peel his eyes open, strain to look down and meet Byakuya's eye. "It felt right," the redhead says with a smile. As if that explains everything. It really doesn't.  
"It was....." Byakuya starts.

Renji's smile widens and Byakuya realises he's made a horrible mistake. 

"Did you find that sexy, Byakuya? Did it make you want to cum, hearing me ask you to marry me?" Renji teases. 

Byakuya hides his face in Renji's neck and gives up.

*

After that, 'marry me' is something they say all the time.

"Marry me!" Renji will groan as Byakuya kneads his shoulders in the bath.  
"Marry me," Byakuya sometimes whispers, when Renji reads him saucy poetry that he's somehow unearthed from the estate's collection.

It is always said with a sincerity that makes Byakuya's stomach swoop. The meaning is never, truly, 'marry me'. 

At least, it has not been until now. He hates to say it with the acrid clean hospital smell lingering between them. He knows that Renji isn't awake at the moment to hear it. 

He tests it first.

"Marry me," he says, and means be more careful. 

Renji should not be here, but he had always been overprotective. Taking a direct hit for one of the recruits was just like Renji (even though, in Byakuya's opinion, the recruit was being an _idiot_ and getting hit would have taught him a lesson). Renji's rib was broken so badly he almost punctured a lung. 

"Marry me," he says, and means wake up soon. 

He had not been there when it happened, not that he doesn't trust the healers. Not that it's even particularly serious. Byakuya has done worse to Renji with his own hands. Renji is very difficult to kill. But these days Byakuya finds it hard to see him suffer even the smallest hurt. It is convenient that they are not sent out to fight, he doesn't think he could take it. He has gone soft in his old age.

"Marry me," he says, and truly means it. 

It's been almost a decade and they are married in all but the legalities. It has gotten to the point where it seems frivolous to plan a wedding - like an excuse for a party rather than the solemn promise of partnership that it should be. Of course, they are already partners in so many other ways. 

He looks at Renji's relaxed face and wonders if it's selfish, to want it anyway.

*

Byakuya doesn't say it. 

He strictly refuses to say it in view of an actual bride and groom. It would be too much, it will ruin this long-running thing they have. But he wants to. He desperately wants to. 

They have despatched the lost soul hanging around the temple - on the verge of becoming a little violent. He was causing a ruckus making the wind chimes sing on still days and sending the screen doors snapping open unexpectedly. The monks had tried everything short of an exorcism, it seems. The spirit found this amusing, but they reasoned with him and sent him on his way to the next life. 

They did not expect to be here in the middle of a wedding ceremony, though. When their job is done, Byakuya cannot help himself from lingering to watch.

They have left their gigai in Urahara's shop, which means that they go unseen as the bride passes them by in her white kimono. She is wearing a traditional hood, shading her pretty round face. The groom looks ecstatic, so happy he is sort of unwieldy trailing along next to her. 

Byakuya is sharply reminded of Rukia's wedding day, and how Renji told him he was so jealous, seeing their joy. 

Looking at Renji now, he only sees something like contentment. Maybe something hopeful, around the eyes if he really searches for it. 

Byakuya wonders, perhaps, whether Renji feels like marriage is just a ritual byproduct of loving someone, that what they have is enough. Byakuya is starting to feel like it is not most definitely not enough. It is a distinct injustice, not to be able to call Renji his husband. 

Before he knows what he is doing, he is pulling himself up into Renji's arms, slanting their mouths together. There is a muffled squawk of surprise, but Renji recovers quickly. 

As the last of the wedding guests move around them, walking further into the temple, they are kissing desperately, hungrily. It is absolutely too filthy for in public. Renji's hair is half out of his ponytail by the time Byakuya pulls away at last. He holds himself carefully in check. 

They are wound taught all the way back to soul society, back to the estate. 

Renji reels him in without the slightest preamble. 

_Don't say it_ he pleads in his head, as Renji pushes deeper into him. He is bent practically in half. Their faces are so close. They are looking right into each other's eyes. _Please don't say it._

Renji is panting his name. His hips move in short, sharp thrusts that Byakuya feels right up his spine to his teeth. 

"I love you," Renji says instead, gasping. 

\+ 

Fifteen years have not changed his fiancé's angular, proud profile. 

There is a streak of dark silver through Renji's red hair at the temple - they suspect it's something to do with the long years of malnutrition as a child. Byakuya is older, but his hair is still an immaculate inky black. There is stubble clinging around Renji's jaw, too. He's trying a rugged silver-fox thing out at the moment. Byakuya likes it, but Renji is getting fed up of the itching. 

He watches as Renji's big, tanned hand gently rubs the baby's back, where she's propped up at his shoulder. 

It is their first time properly babysitting for Rukia, and as such they are both a little jittery. They are being very quiet in case she starts fussing again despite just being fed. They have done plenty of holding and cuddling over the past six months but now they are being trusted overnight. A test, to see if her uncles are up to the challenge. 

It feels painfully like family. The one that Byakuya half remembers from his own childhood before his mother passed. Afternoons at the theatre. Being sent running by Sojun to fetch his mother for dinner. 

He remembers his father brushing his mother's hair before bed one night. He had been woken by the soft sounds of them talking, the scent of her hair oil. He saw his parent's eyes catch in the mirror, and would never forget the smile around his father's eyes. Many years later, he recognised the same expression on his own face, looking at Hisana. 

Then there was Renji. He thought he saw it there, too, when he thought Byakuya wasn't looking. 

The first time he'd watched Rukia settle their niece into Renji's arms, he had immediately found his resolve. The next day, he started preparations. He found an auspicious date. He ordered robes. He organised a menu with the chef, bought the best sake he could find and hid it away from the rest of the stock. Renji knew his way around the sake collection too well by this point.

Byakuya allows himself one last look at Renji before he says the words. The redhead is concentrating hard on the child in his arms.

"Renji," Byakuya whispers. Renji looked up sharply, about to tell him to keep quiet. "Marry me," he says first. 

Renji smiles, huffs a laugh. 

"Marry me this Friday," he repeats. 

Renji frowns. "You're serious," he says at last. 

"I've made the arrangements," Byakuya confirms, allowing himself a smug smile at Renji's blank, stunned face. It melts, suddenly into the expression he has been searching for. 

"Yeah. Let's do that. This Friday," he agrees. 

*

On Friday Byakuya wears the haori. He exchanges the sake cups back and forth with Renji, three times three times three. Rukia tries desperately to keep the baby quiet through the ceremony, until Ichigo finally gives up and takes her outside for a while.

It leaves the room a little empty - there are no elders, no division troops, no colleagues from amongst the higher officers. They do not need witnesses, because at this point it is just for them. 

And perhaps for the shock value of telling Yayoi-sama that they _are_ married, actually.

And maybe Kyoraku's reaction when he sees the paperwork Renji has put in to change his name to Kuchiki. 

Mostly, for Renji's grin at the moment it is officially done. The colour is so high in his cheeks - still a little disbelieving after all these years - and he swallows hard at the pronouncement that they are, at last, married. 

Later, naked and absolutely limp from Renji's attentions, Byakuya turns to find his husband looking at him strangely. 

"Marry me," Renji says. 

Byakuya makes a thoughtful noise, looks at the ceiling in faux contemplation. "I shall consider it, but my husband might not be pleased," he warns. 

The glint in Renji's eye, the way he rushes forward with - Byakuya notes with a degree of apprehension - unmistakably _renewed_ vigour, makes him think that perhaps, they have found something to replace 'marry me'. Which is quite redundant, at this point, unfortunately.

"Husband," he says again, wrapping his arms around Renji, offering his mouth up for a kiss. 

Yes, he finds it has potential.

**Author's Note:**

> SO MUCH FLUFFFFFF
> 
> Sorry. It was my wedding anniversary recently and I think I got sentimental writing this....maybe!?!?!? Getting married is a weird and wonderful tradition.
> 
> Happy ByaRen week everyone ❤️


End file.
